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Monday, June 06, 2005
Wow, it feels like ages since I last updated my blog. Life has been pretty hectic since I finished my final exam about a month ago. I have been meaning to write something since then but I found it hard to put my emotions into words. Mixed feelings. It's funny cos I've been waiting for my graduation since the first day I stepped my feet here at RPI as a freshman. But when it actually happened, I don't want it to end so soon. At least not this soon.
And today, I will be leaving Troy forever. I don't think I will be coming back here again. A small, lifeless town it is. Some people say that it is 'kampung'. I can't agree with them more. Nevertheless, I have lived and breathed in this place for the past 4 years. I consider it as my second home. It is at this place, I have found and known great friendship. A sense of camaraderie. Life-long friendship. Kawan-kawan sampai mati. Very amazing people, whom I cannot live without. But soon enough, we are going to part ways ...
We used to talk all night about the rest of our lives, like who or where we're going to be when we turn 30. Who most likely to get married first. Or become very successful. Things like that. I used to think that time wil never change. I thought 4 years was a very long time. But now, we all agreed that 4 years ain't that long after all. All those memories kept flashing back in front of my eyes. Seem like yesterday. And I kept thinking about how we used to hang out together. Late-night chit chats. Playing board games. Watching movies. Shopping. Dining out. BBQs. Dance practice for Malaysian nite. The list goes on. I realize that when we leave this place, we can't do that as often as we used to. No turning back, cos we're on a different track.
Last nite, we had our last gathering. Last movie. Last borak-borak sampai pagi. Last game of SNAP (hehe). Last laugh. Everything last, last, last ....
So this is how it feels ...
We recorded our 'confessions' last nite. Each of us will say something to the camera and we will not see it until our next gathering. Be it in a few months' time or even in a few years' time. Who knows? We have started to plan our gathering already, but haven't decided on anything yet.
To my RPI friends, thank you for this friendship, thank you for your help, and thank you for being a wonderful person as you are. I may not say this often, but I love you guys! BFF - best friends forever ...
Good bye my wonderful friends. Good bye RPI. Good bye Troy.
Here's to old RPI, her fame may never die
Here's to old Rensselaer, she stands today without a peer
Here's to those olden days
Here's to those golden days
Here's to the friends we made
At dear old RPI...
[Here's To Old RPI - the Alma Mater of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, established 1824]
Quote of the day: "It is in changing, that we find purpose."
Posted at 10:06 am by dramaQueen
dysfunction junction
Thursday, May 05, 2005
This is it. I am no longer a college student. Man, how good it is to be able to finally say those words! But I guess not for long. After this I will be facing the real world. Yes, the working world. Not looking forward to it actually. I'm gonna miss my friends here.
So today I went to pick up the commencement tickets. Then my friends and I went to RPI Spring Fling. It's our university's annual event held at the end of each academic year. This is the event where they have (free!) food, games, live music, free gifts and moore free food. This year's event was a disappointment, though. First, due to the weather. It was very cold and windy outside. My hands were so cold that I could not eat. Second, there wasn't that much food this year compared to previous years' events. Ape ni. RPI dah miskin ke? How come tuition fees keep increasing each year? Disappointed, we went back home early. Sempat la makan cotton candy je. Huhu.
Enough about that already. Let's talk about music and songs, shall we? I love music. I can't go a day without listening to a song. I love singing too, but mostly to myself when I think no one's listening. Or when I'm driving alone, I like to 'melalak sambil syok sendiri' (Other drivers must think I was crazy). Or the classic case, in the shower. Hehe. I love hearing my dad sing. He has a very deep voice. Sorta like Elvis Presly-mixed-with-Frank Sinatra I guess.
Sometimes songs are just songs. But certain songs can make you reminisce certain events or remind you of someone you know. Just the other day, I played my songs on random on iTunes (keep in mind that I have 1500++ songs on my music folder and I rarely listen to all of them on a regular basis), then an old song came up. Suddenly I realized that I had that song since I was a freshman. It used to be my favorite song back then. Then all of a sudden it made me reminsce the good old days when I was a freshie here. It felt, refreshingly good, to hear the song again.
And so, I would like to share some of the songs that I feel significant in my life.
I'm Like a Bird - Nelly Furtado
This song was very popular back in the year 2000/2001 when I was still doing my preparation at PPP UiTM Shah Alam. Everytime I tune up the radio in the car or watching MTV, this song will surely come up. This song reminds me of the 'kepanasan at PPP'. Haha. No, really. Everytime I got back from class in the evening, I would turn the radio on. And tahu lah hitz.fm kan, suka ulang-ulang lagu. And of course this song selalu la berkumandang di radio. For those who have not lived in Shah Alam.. let me tell you, sana sangat panas! I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the lack of trees, or it's the fact that it is a kawasan perindustrian. But it was hot like hell.
A Little Respect - Wheatus
This is the song I talked about earlier. This was my favorite song when I was a freshman. I listened to it every single day! So whenever I listen to this song now, I will remember the good old days back in 2001. I miss my freshman days. Not much work load, duit banyak. Went shopping every week! Eating at dining hall with friends. Sleepover at my friends' room and watch horror movies (Of course I usually fell asleep at the middle of the movie! Typical me). Playing bowling on Friday nights. But no, I wasn't a good bowler, ok? Hehe.
Woman - Some Korean singer
This song also reminds me of the freshman days. I remember back then, my friends and I was so 'fanatik' about this song - the video clip mostly. Sebab video tu sangat sedih and the korean model that was in it was sooo damn gorgeous!
My Heart will Go On - Celine Dion
Yes, this song was popular because it was the soundtrack for the movie Titanic. But that's not why this song is significant to me. When I was in form 4 at Sri Aman, I decided to join Renjer Puteri. There was this task where juniors had to get all the seniors' signatures. And biasa la.. the seniors nih macam-macam hal la kan. Nak torture the juniors. But it wasn't as bad as they did in boarding school la. Ada this one senior, asked me to sing this song in front of everyone at the canteen! Gila malu seh. Nak tak nak, I have to sing la. But it was alright cos I had my revenge the next year! Haha.
KRU songs
Most teenage girls of our time must have liked KRU at some point. As for me, I did not like KRU. I was a fanatic! I even watched their movies at the cinema. My friends and I used to sing Ooh La La! in the classroom while waiting for our homeroom teacher to come in. I think that was in form 2. I also remember back then when i was in standard six (at Kertih), we sang 'Malam Kita' all the way from school to our home while riding a bicycle. (Yes, I rode bicycle to school. Baik tak? Haha).
Percayalah - Siti Nurhaliza
This song was popular around the year 2001. Second semester at PPP. I remember Sarimah and I, at 3 am in the morning, singing our lungs out to this song at the balcony of our flat! Memang takde kerja. Our flat was on the second floor, so there was this one time while we were singing, someone from upstairs threw a baldi of air down towards us! Haha. Tu lah memekak lagi tengah-tangah malam buta! But it was all fun. I miss those days. I miss spending time with you la minah!
Travelin' Soldier - Dixie Chicks
This song reminds me of my Electric Circuits lecturer, Prof. Jennings. He loved to play this song during class. Cool kan? At each class, memang ada masa untuk buat lab or activities, so masa tengah pasang-pasang cuicuit or buat soalan, he will play this song (and a bunch of other country and oldie songs, depending on his mood). So, sambil-sambil buat kerja tu, ada la terikut nyanyi sama. Haha.
The Closest Thing to Crazy - Katie Melua and The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice
Both of these songs remind me of Hariz. The first song, the closest thing to crazy, was the first song that he sang to me - on the phone. I was feeling a little bit down that time, which I can' t remember why, so he called me up and sang this song while strumming on his guitar. How sweet was that? I am a lucky girl. The blower's daughter, also reminds me of him because he was the one who recommended me to this song. I immediately fell in loooove with it! Oh, did I mention that all these happened before we became a couple? Hehe. Maybe tu la kot cara dia nak mengurat. Hehe. (Jangan marah eh baby?).
I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
Remember Jejak Kasih? Ala.. the segment from Malaysia Hari Ini (ke?) kat TV3. Yang segment cari ahli keluarga yang hilang tu. Ha.. Ingat? I remember, lagu ni ada every day at 7 am. Right at the time nak pergi sekolah. My youngest sister, who was 4 years old at that time, loved to sing this song (of course pelat la, with words yang die main hentam sesuka hati die je). She was sooo cute.
Rozana - Search
No, this song is not significant to me just because the title was my name. It was because I used to be teased at primary school by my friends because of this song. Geram sangat. I hated this song back then. But not anymore. I kinda like this song sebab guitar die best. And caiirrr gile if Hariz sings this song to me. Huhu. Thank you Search for making a song with my name as the title =)
That's the Way It Is - Celine Dion
I heard this song while I was in the car, on the way to school on the first day of SPM! Until now, if terdengar lagu nih, teringat la masa tengah cuak nak amik periksa! Hahaha.
Behold! The Nightmare - Smashing Pumpkins
Teringat the night before SPM, I listened to this songs over and over again just to release tension. Sekali ngan head banging sume aaa.. Haha.. percaya ke tak percaya?
I Want It That Way - Backstreet Boys
This song reminds me of my dad. Yes, my dad used to love this song. He would not only sing to this song, but dance as well! How cute was that?
Those are some of the songs that I have on top of my head right now. I'm sure there are a lot more.
What songs are significant to you?
Posted at 03:15 am by dramaQueen
dysfunction junction
Monday, May 02, 2005
It ain't over until it's over
The long-anticipated day has finally approaching. I have been counting down to this date since a few weeks ago (Or was it months ago?). On May 3, 2005, at approximately 7.50 pm, I will no longer be a university student. Wow. I never thought this day would come so quickly. Time, indeed, flies very fast. Just one more freakin' day ...
In the mean time, I still need to study for this final exam. I don't know what the exam will be like. My instructor didn't give any tips whatsoever regarding the finals, he just said that it is to be done online, just like the in-class quizes we used to do during class. So, I assume it will be open-resource. Hehe. Hopefully, cos I don't think I can memorize all these stuff.
Can't wait for this to be over. I have a lot of things in mind to do after tuesday evening:
1. read books (not textbook, please)
2. continue packing
3. get more beauty sleep
4. go shopping
5. watch tv/movies
6. spend quality time with friends
7. call home and talk to my mom and sisters for hours
8. get a hair cut
9. get a job! haha.
... and the list goes on.
Ok, need to get some sleep. It's already six in the morning, and I haven't slept yet. Any tips on how to make these eyebags go away? Hehe.
It ain't over until it's over ...
Posted at 06:02 am by dramaQueen
dysfunction junction
Saturday, April 30, 2005
happy birthday hariz !!!
today, april 30th 2005 is officially your birthday. i'm sorry i wasn't the first person to wish you today (i have a legitimate reason for that hihii).
how i wish i could be there with you today - on your big day. but we're too far apart.... but not in another few months!
hope you like the video i made for you. you better! tak tido tau buat video tuh. hehe. no lah. even if i did not get any sleep at all pun, it's all worth it, baby. to bring the smile on your face (damn, i wish i could see that smile), is priceless!!!
happy 23rd birthday baby. i love you, my little monkey! =)
Posted at 04:19 am by dramaQueen
dysfunction junction
Monday, April 25, 2005
This is a picture of my family and I when we were vacationing at Bali, Indonesia last summer. The best family vacation ever! I cherish this picture a lot because this is one of the few pictures of the whole family we had. Usually my dad or my brother will be taking the pictures. Plus, my brother doesn't like to be in a picture.. don't know why. Even if he does, he will hide his face behind someone.
Oops.. silly me. Let me introduce you to my family. At the very far left is my mom, Puan Fadzilah Mohd. Zaibidi. She's a homemaker, excellent at baking chocolate cake! She can talk in many dialects, cakap la.. utara, kelantan... semua die reti (maybe Johor tak reti la kot hihii..). And she's very friendly too, she can make friends with a stranger in 5 minutes. I wish I can be more like that, but I'm too shy hehe.. She used to be a nurse before she got married to my dad. So my mom nih very health freak la. No sugar in tea and coffee for us. Kalau nak kene letak sendiri. But I'm so used to having tea or coffee without sugar already. And oh, she's a great cook!
Ok, the one behind her, is of course my one and only brother, Anwar. He'll be 18 this year. The 'manja' one out of all my siblings. I think maybe it's the fact that he's the only boy and my mom used to manjakan him when he was small. I could not even lay my hands on him sikit pun.. kalau tak sure die dah menjerit for my mom. I hated him when he was small because he was so damn naughty. He once threw a VHS at my mouth... sampai berdarah. Sabar je lah ketika itu. But I love him anyway. He's trying to get into flying school. I hope he gets it. Boleh dapat discount nanti nak travel. Haha.
The big guy in the orange shirt is my dad, Mr. Abd Talib Baba. He is an amazing dad, a perfectionist in every way. Sometimes he drives us all crazy! Bayangkan la, kalau nak balik kampung he will check the lock on the door like 10 times! Tu tak termasuk lagi nak check bags and all. He may look serious and garang (maybe because of his army background), but trust me he's a very funny guy! He used to be very strict when we were younger, but that was because we were soooo naughty! But when it comes to studies, he's my idol. I knew I wanted to be an accountant like him since I was fourteen. But sadly, impian tak tercapai (mara la punya pasal, tak kasi buat accountancy!). He's very serious when it comes to our studies... I was so scared to show him my report card, but fortunately I have my mom to back me up. Hehe.
And next to him, is ehemm... me! No need introduction. (I'm the feminine one, by the way. Ihiks...)
Next to me, is my youngest sister, Raihan. She's the 'skema' one among us siblings. She likes to read books, even when she's eating! Her books are everywhere around the house! She reads a lot that she needs to wear glasses when she was 10. She'll be 15 this august. I adored her when she was younger. She had this cute curly locks that when you pull and release them, it will bounce like a spring. And she was very fair and chubby too! I love taking care of her when she was small. But now, she's turning into a teenager... starting to talk about boys, clothes, boybands and what not! Hehe. I love to talk to her because she talks non-stop! We can talk for hours on the phone.
Last but not least, at the very far right is my other sister, Shikin. She's the 'kecoh' one. We are very close considering our age gap is just 1 year and 5 months. But I hated her when she was small. I used to pull her hair, beat her, and when she cried, I was happy. Haha. Evil me. I guess I was jelous because my parents started to priorotize her more than me. My mom always bought us the same clothes but in different colors (i always got blue and my sister red). Not until I was 10 or 11 that my mom let us choose our own clothes. We used to fight a lot when we were younger too. Tarik rambut. Screamed at each other. Sepak, terajang sume ada la. Sometimes I won, sometimes she did. But I always lose to her when it comes to arguing about anything. Damn. Mulut laser. She should be a lawyer! But then, as we grew up, we became very close. We shared things, even secrets. And yes, she talks non-stop too!
Those are the people that I adore.....
Bila dah time nak balik nih lagi la terasa rindu. Looking forward to see them all during my graduation day. (sebulan je lagi nih!)
Posted at 06:41 am by dramaQueen
dysfunction junction
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Melancholic silence of absence ...
There's so many things I want to tell you
But you're not around
I want to know how your day has been today
But you're not around
So here I am
Sitting in my bedroom
Waiting patiently
With this melancholic silence of your absence
Can you hear my heart crying out for you?
Can you hear my voice calling your name?
Please don't go away
Stay
I miss you ...
Posted at 08:54 pm by dramaQueen
dysfunction junction
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
I can't wait for this semester to be over. I can't wait to graduate, go back home and read a lot of books (which i have already bought but have yet to read). Before going back home, I want to buy as many books as I can (banyak duit?), sebab tahu la kan... books are very expensive in Malaysia. Patut lah Malaysians jarang baca buku!
So here are the list of books that i have been longing to read for quite some time now:
- East of Eden by John Steinbeck (2002) - First published in 1952, East of Eden is the work in which Steinback (a Nobel Prize winner in 1962) created his most mesmerizing characters and explored his most enduring theme: the mystery of identity, the inexplicability of love, and the murderous consequences of love's absence. This 600-page book (wooo) is an Oprah's Book Club.
- The Reading Group by Elizabeth Noble (2005) - This #1 British Bestseller is a real female-bonding novel in the very best sense: witty and completely engaging. It reveals the many complicated paths in life we all face as well as the power and importance of friendship.
- The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields (1993) - This national bestseller is also the winner of the 1995 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. This book is a poignant tale of a woman's life during the twentieth-century pilgrimage.
- Riding in Cars with Boys by Beverly Donofrio (1990) - This is an outrageous and touching memoir about a teenage mother, who, after her marriage failed, brought and raised her son alone in New York City to start a career and a life. It is a story about becoming middle-class and the compromises made between your own person and fitting into society. But mostly, it's a story about a teenage single mother who, as her son grows up, becomes and adult herself. This book has been turned into a movie of the same title starring Drew Barrymore.
- Story of My Life by Jay McInerney (1989) - This is a novel from one of my favorite authors (remember Bright Lights, Big City?). This is a story about an aspiring actress, living a splendor life in New York City - club hopping, shopping Chanel, falling in and out of lust and abusing other people's credit cards. She soon found herself towards emotional breakdown and forced to come to terms with the traumatic reality.
- The Body Artist by Don DeLillo (2001) - A haunting, beautiful and moving novel from an award-winning author (including National Book Award and Jurusalem Prize to name a few).
- Potrait in Sepia by Isabel Allende (2001) - A novel, originally written in Spanish, about a family saga told by the voice of a young woman in search for her roots. Potrait in Sepia is an extraordinary achievement: richly detailed, epic in scope, intimate in its probing human character and thrilling in the way it illuminates the complexity of family ties.
Wish list:
- Love, Loss and What I Wore by Ilene Beckerman
- The Miss America Family: A Novel by Julianna Baggott
- The Dirty Girls Social Club by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez
- Say When by Elizabeth Berg
- Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, A Young Man and Life's Greatest Lesson by Mitch Albom and Stacy Creamer
- The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
.... and many more. hehehe...
On a more lighter note, Spring is here! Boleh keluar pakai slipper. Hehe.. tu je nak cakap. Lovin' the sun!
Posted at 02:41 am by dramaQueen
dysfunction junction
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Kenangkanlah oh semalam
Walau cinta diuji
Janji tak ku lupa
Tak daya ku halangi
Tak ku cuba jauhi
Tetap di sini terus menanti
Jangan pula ada sangsi
Di lubuk hati
Percaya cinta tiada ganti
Kau yang ku cari
Kau lah kasih
Ke akhir hayat nanti ...
[Excerpt from: Cinta tak berganti - Siti Nurhaliza]
Posted at 05:09 pm by dramaQueen
dysfunction junction
Ada sinar mentari
Setelah hujan ribut melanda
Ada sinar rembulan
Setelah berlalunya hari
Tapi aku masih di sini
Masih menanti dan mencari
Mentari pagi yang bisa menerangi
Setelah dibasahi hujan yang tidak didugai
Masihkah ada harapan untuk ku berdiri?
Masihkah ada harapan untuk ku berlari?
Setelah ia menguasai jiwa ini ...
Posted at 12:12 am by dramaQueen
dysfunction junction
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
A walk down memory lane ...
Without even realizing it, Spring semester is approaching to its end. A few months from now, all of us will be separated, on the journey to pursue our own career lives. Some of us will be engineers, IT specialists, computer programmers, computer animators, and what not. We will not be college students anymore. We will not be able to hang out as often as we used to.
Fikir-fikir balik... rasa tak percaya that it has been nearly four years I have been here in the States. Away from home. Away from my beloved family. Half a globe away from tanah tumpah darahku, Malaysia. Countless experiences were gained, some were good. And some, not to mention, were bad. Learned new things. Like the American culture. And American slang. Hehe. I remember when I was an innocent freshman, there was this one time when I wanted to buy Fillet O Fish at McDonalds. I said to the cashier that I wanted to 'take away'. The cashier was like, "Huh, what?" It took me a while to explain to her what I meant. Haha. Later I found out that Americans don't say 'take away' but they say 'to go'. Hahaha... mana la nak tahu. And oh there was this one other time, it was the end of class, and I overheard one dude was saying to his friend: "See you later, player". Haha. Dah tukar la pulak kan. Dulu: "See you later, alligator". Haha, lawak la jugak tuh. There are so many other things that I don't have them on top of my head right now, but if I remember and were to list out pun, tak terlarat kot.
Am I excited to finally finish my studies and go back home... for good? Yes and no. Yes, because .. hmm.. to put things easy; Like, duuhhh, no more classes, no more homeworks and no more late nights of studying! (Ada juga persamaan American slang ngan Melayu kan... Americans suka cakap 'like', orang melayu suka cakap 'macam'. Hehe). I'm glad to finally be home where my heart belongs. Be able to eat malaysian food. Many choices of food. Mamak. Teh tarik. Roti canai. And my favorite, my mom's asam pedas ikan pari. Ok, ok, enough about food already. It's almost 3 am right now and I'm freakin' hungry.
What else, aaaahh yes. No more bloody freezin' winter. No more checking the temperature at weather.com before going out. I don't have to make plans according to the weather anymore. For example: "Ala, hari ni tak jadi pergi shopping la sebab kat luar tu sejuk sangat". No more thick sweaters that make me look fatter. No more meredah snow yang tebal untuk pergi kelas. No more icy roads. And last but not least, no more do I have to wear my big Timberland boots. Nak pakai satu hal. Nak bukak pun satu hal jugak.
But... the other part of me says no I don't want to go home this soon. Why? First. To be honest, I love being a student. True, memang la kena belajar, pergi kelas, assignments, bla bla bla.. but don't you just love the student life? Lepas ni, kena cari kerja (I heard kat Malaysia sekarang ada about 80,000 unemployed graduates. Sheesshhh). New responsibilities. A few years from now, tiba masa untuk kawin (ececeyyy..). Lagi bertambah responsibilities. You don't get to do the things you used to do when you were a student. Long story short, kena jadi adults. Hehe..
And what about friends? True friendships were built during college years. Lepas ni semua orang sudah merata-rata. It's impossible to get together sama-sama lagi. Our favorite past time masa holidays (for those yang takde duit nak pegi jalan-jalan like me), was playing board games. Monopoly. Cranium. Clue. Sorry. Twister. Risk. Deck cards. And the classic, Uno (sapa kalah kene nyanyi lagu sekolah or bonus, lagu negeri sekali. heheh...). We usually played at around 11 pm onwards, and finished waaayy until 4 am. When we got tired, we would watch vcds, usually malay movies, just for laughs. We would kutuk-kutuk at how poyo the dialogue was or how illogical the story was. Anything. And then in between, ada la makan-makan. Keropok, roti telur, jemput-jemput, biskut gula, kuih raya, hot milo. Apa-apa je la yang ada kat dapur masa tu. Those were the happy days ....
And so, to cherish our last few months here, we decided to go for an evening at school and take pictures. Bermacam-macam aksi la yang keluar. To see the results, click on the links below.
More pictures from Sha and Akmal's websites. Enjoy!
Posted at 03:29 am by dramaQueen
dysfunction junction
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